Are your one-on-one meetings working?

Ongoing one-one-one meetings between managers and direct reports typically aim to align expectations and build trust with team members. They can be good opportunities to give and receive feedback, set individual goals and troubleshoot challenges.

However, leaders sometimes can struggle to balance the conflicting priorities of supporting their direct reports while also meeting company goals and delivering on other responsibilities.

Harvard Business Review shares the following five common signs your one-on-ones are falling short and how to make the most of such meetings.

1. You do not want to go to the meeting. When you are busy, it may be tempting to cancel routine meetings, but you should not do this often with one-on-ones. Managers should lead these meetings and ensure the agendas are not repetitive. For example, you could dedicate the first one-on-one meeting of every month to your direct report’s career development goals. You also can create a shared document where you and your direct report collaborate on an agenda for each week.
2. Your meeting always goes too long. If 30 to 60 minutes every week is not enough, you could be getting too detailed, rehashing old issues or getting off track with side discussions. Reassess which topics would be better addressed in a more formal meeting focused on a single topic. If you keep getting off track discussing side topics, consider whether these topics can be discussed via email or a quick exchange in the hall.
3. You cannot fill the time. If your direct report consistently has little to share, they may not be comfortable discussing their needs, obstacles or anything besides their task list. Keep the lines of communication open by showing up consistently and finding new angles to build trust in the relationship. Some questions that could prompt deeper discussion include “What has been your professional highlight of the year?” or “What are we not talking about on our team?”
4. You leave every meeting deflated. Collapsing after a one-on-one could be caused by compassion fatigue or even burnout, especially if your direct report is using the meetings to vent. Emotional labor can be one of the most exhausting parts of being a manager, so you should identify your boundaries, including emotional ones. It is possible someone outside of work could offer your team member appropriate support. You could add venting to the meeting agenda and allow your direct report five minutes of venting before moving on. Consider ways you can emotionally support your employee without taking on that emotion yourself.
5. One (or both) of you are on a second screen. It is common for second devices, such as smartphones, to compete with live meetings these days—even more so if the meetings are virtual. But if you cannot pay attention to one other person, you are not prioritizing the time together. Before your meetings, go to a quiet space, silence your notifications and close any second screens on your laptop. During your meeting, practice active listening to show your employee you are present. If your direct report is on a second screen, pause the conversation and ask if he or she needs a moment. It may help to start the meeting by saying “Let’s put our phones away for this conversation.”